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2JP Home > The Gospel According to John Waters > The Seven Virtues and Deadly Sins
 
     
   

The Seven Virtues and Deadly Sins

 
   

The Seven Virtues

  1. Mainlining liquid eyeliner.
  2. Turning nellie.
  3. Being a checkerboard chick.
  4. Robbing houses.
  5. Making independent movies.
  6. Modelling.
  7. Getting your hair done (alternative: ironing your hair).

Honourable Mention: Giving your son the gift of Divinity.


The Seven Deadly Sins

  1. Being an asshole.
  2. Trying to outfilth Divine (it's virtually impossible).
  3. Repeating rhymes.
  4. Sending a turd through the mail.
  5. Burning down your rival's beautiful hideaway.
  6. Trying to get an education so you can get into a good college.
  7. Eating obscene fruits and vegetables, all in the name of health.

Honourable Mention: Offering your long-lost little girl a present.

 
       
     
     

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