Very, very tricky. I’ve been urged by a trained theologian that I have in Christ a real identity, separate from my bear identity, the bear identity being phony. This does not feel quite right. It’s kind of like the kid being forced by her parents to go to violin lessons when she knows inside that she is a vocalist. (Or like the lady I knew who said she hated, really loathed, being forced into Home Economics classes at school, and wanted soooooo badly to be in Industrial Arts with the boys. A lesbian lady, you say? Not. She eventually went on to postdoctorate work in experimental low-temperature physics, picking up an astronomer boyfriend along the way.) I mean, what’s the alternative to being a woofy bear? An asexual closeted conventional parish Catholic? Been there, tried it for nearly twenty years, and it felt false. If the closeted thing is the identity we have in Christ, it’s pretty feeble, no? If there is any other authentically Catholic non-bear identity, then what is it? I challenge you: explain it in concrete language! Some will reply, reasonably, that religion is not a matter of feelings. To this I reply, equally reasonably, that our hearts and feelings were put into us by God for a purpose. I challenge people who disagree with me to demonstrate that the closeted-Catholic line, which involves denying the heart, is in some way or other logically sounder than my line, which involves heeding it. (As will emerge soon enough in this FAQ, I’m not promoting genital sexual relations. So it’s not all that easy to argue that the closeted-Catholic line is uniquely prescribed by those well-known, scary, anti-homosexuality Scriptures. Well, I’m open to persuasion. Or does the closet line, perhaps, make us uniquely loving? Doubt it. Though, as I say, I’m open to persuasion.)
Still, the theologian has a point. What is authentic is the bear thing without the hype. Sort of like this, that it's okay to express oneself (in my case, that means having a beard and diligently polishing my combat boots), but not appropriate to flaunt a persona (in my case, that would mean sporting an earring or biker chaps).