The Hometown Syndrome

By: Ray Sare

"Toronto is the only city in the world that eats it's own young"

- Toronto Sun columnist, summer, 1990

In a previous column I wrote that "even Jesus Christ couldn't perform miracles in his home town, but that's another story." I also mentioned that Toronto is a great city, in fact the best city in the world, to get your shit together in, but to "make it over the top" you gotta get out of town. Well, here's that story.

Toronto residents keep a keen eye on what's happening in Los Angeles, New York, Paris, London and Japan, particularly because of television, but are bored with the "home town heroes" who have not moved to another large market. The problem with any hometown product is that people are jealous and envious of anyone who "makes it big" before they do. Lee Aaron and Sabastian Bach not to mention Neil Young, Paul Anka, Rich Little, Triumph and Lorne Greene, had to move in order to gain international recognition. The bands that stay here are subjected to mounds of jealous abuse from their fellow Toronto industry peers. Bands like Platinum Blonde, Honeymoon Suite, Glass Tiger, Gowan, Corey Hart, Pursuit of Happiness and Blue Rodeo were branded as wimps, posers and sellouts just because their product was happening and selling and they were performing to thousands of vital, young teenagers while their "peers" were starving on Queen Street, playing their self-indulgent, out of tune, out-dated trash, wearing Goodwill clothes and Karl Marx (arrogant) smirks for 60 people. The successful recording bands should have gotten out of town because no one is going to do them any favors here; they knew them when they were "nobodies."

The jealousy and backstabbing in Toronto's music scene is not limited to the upper levels of the industry. It is even worse at the basement level where the young rock 'n roll posers hang out at the Gasworks, Rock 'n Roll Heaven and Lee's Place, putting down other bands when their backs were turned, but being nice to their faces when they meet at Long and McQuade's. They ask, "How's the band doing?" when they are really thinking, "I hope you wankers fall flat on your faces."

To truly understand the competitive hatred present in the Toronto Music scene, try looking in the classifieds under "Musicians Wanted." An example of an ad might read as follows: Bassist Wanted. Image a must, no attitudes, posers, assholes, wankers or fuck-heads. Must have experience, gear and blonde boffed hair. Talent an asset. If you are a perfect as I am call 26-STAR.

Now comes the audition. Try explaining to an out of town musician why it is easier to be a street message runner in Beirut than it is to endure an Audition for a Toronto Band. That Coke Commercial with the guitarist auditioning for a band must have been written with Toronto in mind. The first thing that you notice is the dead silence and the lack of eye contact. In Europe and the US, musicians are all considered potential family - artists and friends - so you shoot the shit and loosen up before you play. At a Toronto audition, the only thing that is shot is the aspiring band member if he/she is not Jimi Hendrix in the first five minutes. The auditionee will be told to leave and, as the door closes, a round of laughs, jeers, sneers and wanker remarks are sure to follow.

The competitive situation in Toronto is nevertheless healthy in one respect. If an individual or band can keep their confidence and desire alive, despite the negativity, they then will be in a position to perform their "miracles" in a new city, where they will be judged on what they are doing now, not what they were in the past.

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