FORBIDDEN LOVE. 'A Handmaid's Tail', the newest porn flick out on the market was released to video last week. Protestors are still fighting to have it taken off the shelf because of the "violent and disgusting" nature of the film.
CROWN OF CAINE LEGITIMATE! The reputed "Crown of Caine" after being stolen, returned, stolen, studied, tested, reviewed, re-tested, stolen and returned again was proven by experts to be as old as 4000 BC. Pictures of the crown have been on the front page of every newspaper in the World. The picture in the National Inquirer featuring the crown with the Bat Child, however, was a fake.
ARKADY FONTAINE REVISITED! Dancer Extraordinaire Arkady Fontaine is preparing to perform again after his dramatic collapse at the last show. Details of the new show have yet to be released but fans speculate the theme of the show will reflect the strength that the performer has demonstrated in the last few difficult weeks.
WAR IN THE STREETS? Tension in the streets mounts as major gangs are going underground or leaving the city. Police are attempting to resolve the situation before it erupts into a war.
TERESIANS AREN'T TALKING! The Teresian Cult established in New Orleans and Paris has all but disappeared! No word from the controversial cult has reached the eager ears of the media for two full weeks.
ARMOURED CAR BURNT TO THE GROUND- DRIVERS MISSING! The robbery of an armoured car delivering money to bank machines across the city has ended in a burnt twisted mass of metal. The drivers of the vehicle have not been recovered.
PYROMANIAC A KINDRED? Eyewitnesses to the garage fires that have plagued the West End of the city have reported seeing the culprit running down the street in the early hours of morning with kerosene, a black cape and fangs!
BUSTED! Police have executed several large drug busts over the two weeks. The supply of cocaine in the Underworld is very quickly drying up.
CAMARILLA REFUSES TORONTO RE-ENTRY! The Camarilla has officially refused Toronto re-entry into the sect - not because of the treaty with the Sabbat - but because of Isabella Munroe's choice of Seneschal! Representatives from the Inner Circle have allegedly refused to accept the presence of a Seneschal belonging to the Followers of Set.
GAROU ATTACK IN PETERBOROUGH! Rumours that a garou attack is planned for the Domain of Peterborough have been circulated all over the city.
TREMERE STEP OUT! Clan Tremere is considering leaving the Camarilla behind and starting their own independent sect world-wide. Inner Council negotiations are underway.
LARGE INCREASE OF FAE! Actor Phil Rickaby spotted an alarming number of fairies in the Church and Wellesley area last week. Mr. Rickaby commented to the press "There were so many of them - they swarmed me - I liked it!"
GIOVANNI GET A SPANKING! The Giovanni Clan in Toronto was severely reprimanded for the unprecedented attack on Shamus Kleo, former Prince of Toronto, two weeks ago.
DIETER TO MARRY DEJEAN? Dieter, well known Tremere, will wed Arch Bishop DeJean next week in Las Vegas. While there was no comment from DeJean himself, his soon-to-be better half piped up eagerly saying, "I love his eyes!"
BEDLAM - THE SEARCH CONTINUES! The search for Bedlam has continued in vain as the Sabbat wide 'Wild Hunt' has failed to turn up the conniving criminal.
THE RETURN OF JESSE JAMES. "The Crime of the Century" occurred last week in Rome as a man with the pseudonym Jesse James stole a precious religious artifact - from the Vatican! Police are trying desperately to track down the criminal - who seems to have disappeared without a trace.
ANCIENT COFFINS ARRIVE IN TORONTO. The coffins found in the shipwreck off the coast of Newfoundland arrived yesterday at the Royal Ontario Museum. Archaeological experts will be x-raying the coffins and opening them this week.
BUNNY! HOW COULD YOU? All future performances of The Bunny of Turin's smash musical have been cancelled until further notice. At the last performance in Glasgow, Scotland, the Bunny was overcome with emotion and suddenly, without warning, stripped naked in front of the crowd, gyrating wildly to "I Wanna Be Loved By You". The startled and mesmerized road crew was paralyzed as the Bunny made his way through the crowd, climbing over the captivated fans to the street exit, where he took off running through the streets.