Every flirtation is a vista onto a social world. All along its soft shoulders: connections. Ahead: connections. Behind: connections. And each of the connections has connections--a complex and ever-changing tissue of social relations. Flirting is not just about meeting chicks, it's also about how our lesbian communities function and don't function.
When I came out in L.A. in the early 70s there were lines--oh, romantic type! political type!.... There was also another group of women who thought: if you're sexual you're abusive. They felt that you shouldn't flirt; or, you should ask first and then you could flirt. You negotiate.
So, what I was figuring out when I was hanging out in these lesbian feminist enclaves was that flirting was very much an intellectual thing. It was so important to be politically correct. People who would see themselves as radical dykes would never marry their lesbian partner, and they didn't want anything that smacked of butch and femme. Part of that political thing was the rule: don't wear lipstick, don't wear anything men force on women. I just thought it seemed like "don't be a Jezebel" and I thought "oh please. I went to church. You're not going to tell me this here. I can't manage it."
Clarissa
How are these groups divided?
How does flirting get you into and out of these groups?
Where don't you sit? Why?
How do you flirt outside a lesbian space?
